The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
