I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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