I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize