this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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