Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I looked at my own cervix.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
