Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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