I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
