erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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