happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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