just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
