remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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