the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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