since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
