Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
