I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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