It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
