R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
