he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize