So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
