Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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