I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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