i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
