Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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