Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize