Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
