Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
