No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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