My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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