We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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