successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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