Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
