Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
