you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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