Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
