please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
