you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I looked at my own cervix.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
