Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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