Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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