i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
