White coat. Heels.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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