K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize