Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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