are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
