using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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