So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
