Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
