Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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