a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
