I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
