I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
