just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize