So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
