Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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