Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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