They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
