The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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