and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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