so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
