Ambien. No doubt about it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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