Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
sarcasm needs its own font
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
