that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the day after is always just damage control
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
