I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
