oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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