You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize